During the summer of 2007 I decided to write a book. In the middle of writing this book I have had many life changing events, and I have learned many new things.

So I have decided, to release this book on my website over the course of the next year. There may be a few revisions here and there, but I will make this easy and start with the introduction/forward.

Please excuse any grammar/spelling errors as this has not been edited. Any editors up to the job?

Introduction

The Problem with many new age books:
Is they seem to try to pick endless amounts of questions and topics to try to fill every single question which could be possibly asked, and the end result often seems to be only a few chapters of well thought our material mixed in with quick thinking garbage any new age thinker could probably come up with given a small amount of time.

A good book needs structure, perhaps a beginning, middle , and end. Most people love a good story, and if your book comes off as an encyclopedia about every single subtopic of a given subject then people will lose interest.

He was feeling tirelessly restless and uncomfortable. Not a second went by that he did not wish for his current mental state to change for the positive. His current goals were to brighten up his life. He wants to glow with color, and see the world in the same light, yet struggles between the good and the bad he sees in this world. A third of his time here on earth has been spent living out normal middle class western life with an abnormal personality. Many have accused him of ignoring money, relationships, status and class, in return for deeper meaning, or as they call it laziness, and her perhaps they are right. Maybe he should have joined the ranks of the working man long ago. Fall in line, get an education, get a even better job, settle down, merry, have children, and then go quietly into the night.

Yet something seems a little too perfect about the normal way of life. It makes sense to many, and they seem perfectly happy, so why not join them and embrace the way of western life. To question this perfect path is to question the rules given to you to succeed, so why question them? They are proven successful and they seem simple enough to follow.
Now sitting here years later, I sometimes wonder if I ever really had a choice in the matter, and if I did, what made me question reality to the point of disobeying logical choices which would improve my immediate life. Was I gambling that my self induced suffering would somehow pay off in the long run, or was I not mature enough to make the choices I can make now.

In the past I used to enjoy a good self help or new age book, but now I can’t barley read them. I think to myself, (just ramblings by some other person trying to make sense of it all). Why should I spend time reading about their creative well thought out ideas when I can be spending time with myself. The truth is thought Is I needed them. They are not just books, but tools to help me measure my own thinking to theirs. I however don’t wish to be influenced by them or anyone else for the matter. I want pure creative work to come from my own insight, however I know that’s only wishful thinking. Truth is my history is riddled with outside influence which helped shape and guide me along the way.

Now in the present, I’m presented with two choices. The first choice is to move, and after I chose to move I am presented with an infinite amount of questions and answers on where to move to. The word move is only one of a thousand words which could describe my first choice. You can use go, create, act, shoot, action, or anything else you can think of. My second choice is not to move, or stay. The abnormally however, is that if I chose to stay time will still move me along on let’s say “auto pilot”
So the answer to my life is that simple. I will move weather I chose to move or not move. This proves I only have a choice if I decide to move, if I do not, universal law moves me along anyway.

So now I’m at that choice again. Do I chose to lighten up the self induced suffering, loathing, depression, and darkness, or see how many other negative things I can add to my life. Of course I chose to lighten up, after all it feels a whole lot better.
I can recall an almost even amount of good memories with vivid body highs and over all glowing happiness, as I can recall feeling broken and alone. My question to myself is which one am I now? When I look back in time to this present memory which label will I try to apply? I think to myself now how similar I am to the earth’s population of many fine examples of happiness and joy compared to darkness and war. Am I some kind of cosmic balance created by intelligence higher than mine, or do I have a choice in the matter? Well I know I have choices if I move, so that’s what I will do.

Should I take with me the uncomfortable dark side of me, and balance it between my light side, or can I somehow come to ease with it, placing it to rest in my ancient history.
Logic tells me I will have to deal with the sad, dark, and broken feeling again in my life, when perhaps death or other unfortunate happenings occur. What kind of belief system do I have to fall back on which will help me come to ease with these future events, and how will this affect my goals of being a bright enlightened person. Is it necessary to turn off my bright side and show the dark, to perhaps refuel myself or show others I feel what their feeling. Or is there a way to continue to glow during the worse of circumstances, while perhaps comforting the people around you. How will your enlightened spirit handle being in the presence of the most negative of forces.

Will I go through life constantly trying to remind myself to continue to be happy no matter what. Well then, what will happen if someone tries really hard to make me angry. Will a dark side of me resurface? How will I maintain.

Ideas are only good as the beliefs they support.

I am indecisive, depressed, and full of excuses for the people wanting to give me their perfect answers. The truth is I don't want to follow their answer, and usually respond to their answer with a reason why I shouldn't follow their answer.. I want to struggle in pain until I can form a series of ideas and plans to root my self and spring out of my hole.
Then there is just me, the choices I make, and my ability to withstand the forces leaning and tearing down against me.

Like the wind makes our beloved pants strong, as does ideological struggle and personal pain grants us the strength to help form our own new creative ideas. I may be sick now, but odds are I will survive, and bounce back stronger and more determined than ever.

I usually enjoy outside ideas. They give me great insight into who I am, and who they are. It also helps my ideas spar with their ideas and usually a new idea is formed, along with a strategy on how I should make choices and play out my life to reach my ultimate goal. My destiny.

Ideas are only good as the beliefs they support.
We all follow one rule of government, call it nature, god, science, life.
We all need faith or beliefs in something. Something to believe in to fuel ourselves to carry on every day.

Problem is not everyone is 100% truthful with what they are really living their lives for.

Some people raise a family, while others become adventures, and very few actually possess the power to move many people.

I am indecisive, depressed, and full of excuses for the people wanting to give me their perfect answers, but there are no perfect answers. Just you, the choices you make, and your ability to withstand the forces leaning against you.

Like the wind makes our beloved pants strong, as does ideological struggle and personal pain grants us the strength to help form our own new creative ideas. I may be sick now, but odds are I will survive, and bounce back stronger and more determined than ever.

So who are you? What labels and words do you use to describe your self both personally and socially. Do you place visual labels from the bathroom mirror to help visualize who you are, and do you hold ideological beliefs that help ease your conscious on your importance in life.

Do you have the ability to change who you are? What's your ability to adapt to your environment and social settings to fulfill your destiny.

Tearing down your ego, reinventing yourself, masking who you are, and sharing who you are all important

Helping Others to Help Yourself: A balanced guide to enlightenment.